The Final Day

2 Days Left.

Today was my final day in FL before moving. It was definitely surreal. I still can't believe that tomorrow morning, I'll wake up, get on a plane, fly to New York, and stay there. I've never even moved before! Still, I'm VERY excited!

I really didn't do too much today. I just kind of relaxed, watched tv, did some packing, had lunch with my mom... pretty casual stuff. Then, people started coming to say goodbye. First, my children's pastor from 4 or  4 years ago came and she gave me a big hug and prayed over me. Now, I'm not really a religious person, but I can definitely appreciate the passion behind prayer. My godparents came at night to do the same thing and to pick up my younger brothers, who are staying with them while my parents drop me off in NY. Saying goodbye to my brothers was, like my other goodbyes, pretty smooth and anticlimactic. Same with my best friend, Jill. She came over right before my godparents. I definitely got a sucky feeling saying goodbye to my family and friends the past couple of days, but not really any overwhelming emotions, which is good. I need to stay focused. The thing that really sucks is watching other people get emotional over me leaving. It makes me feel awful, like I'm abandoning them, even though that's not the case. Still, it sucks.

So this is it. After I finish posting this blog, I'm shutting down my computer, packing it up, and going to bed. Finally, the blog posts will be a lot more interesting and positive! I'm excited for that. See you tomorrow... IN NEW YORK!

The Final Countdown

3 days left

Before I begin, I just want to say how exciting it is to see that people are actually reading this. I have a sitemeter thing that gives me tons of stats about visitors to the blog and it really feels good to know I'm not just talking to myself! I'm getting more and more views every day from all over the country and from GERMANY? Pretty effin awesome. Shoutout to my Germans! So thanks for reading the blog! Leave me comments!

Anyway...

Today was very progressive. First of all, I woke up at 6:15AM! For the past two weeks, I haven't woken up before 11AM. After driving my little brother to school, I almost finished packing and going through all of my stuff and I even managed to ship my combination scanner/printer to NY.

In the evening, I did nearly all of my main goodbyes. My family (which consists of my dad's first wife, her three kids, their significant others, my dad, my mom, my two younger brothers, and myself) was all present at our house having pizza and brownies. The implied occasion was my going away, but it wasn't explicitly stated to avoid bursts of emotion. It was surprisingly easy, I think because no one really wanted to cry or get emotional. I know I didn't! It was just really weird. I don't think it has really hit any of us yet. It probably won't until the next big family occasion that I'm not present for. Still, I was really glad to see everyone and to know that this was "the goodbye." I needed temporary closure. Sorry the "going away party" was anticlimactic!

It's okay! I have other news! I was invited by my school to participate in a special program to celebrate their 75th anniversary. Basically, 20 students are selected to take a class in the Fall where they learn how to produce "oral histories." Then, the top 10 students receive employment in the Spring from the University, where they are hired to produce oral histories of the school and the surrounding area. All travel costs are covered and the pay is very good. I'm an out of state student, so money is much appreciated. There's also a lot of freedom in it. The oral history we produce can be a documentary, a theatre piece, a poem, anything really. As a Television major, I'd produce a documentary. Obviously, it'd be a really cool opportunity to get to produce a documentary, get paid, get experience, and already have a job to put on my resume. The only thing I'm concerned with is that it would take up all of my time and concentration, leaving me less social time and less city time. I quickly decided that didn't matter very much. I'm going to New York to prepare myself for a successful career and this class/job would be a great boost in doing so! So, I'm going for it. Normally freshman aren't supposed to do it, so I'm waiting for final approval. I'll keep you updated!

So, tomorrow is my LAST DAY in FL. I leave on a plane early the next morning. That's a little scary, but I'm kind of in the mood to just go kick some ass (academically speaking, of course). Hopefully tomorrow isn't too emotional or weird. It is  the day I have to say goodbye to my best friend, Jill though :(  That'll probably suck. I guess I should get some sleep. It's going to be a pretty big day. 

Nostalgia!

4 days left.

So far, I feel like this blog has been pretty boring. I've mostly been writing about how this whole pre-moving thing feels but that's because I really want to remember what it's like. I mean, I guess it could be helpful for other people to read to help them handle moving out of their house for the first time, but these pre-move posts are mostly for future me to look back at. I just wanted to acknowledge that I recognize how anticlimactic these posts have been so far, now on to today's blog!

I've started packing. It's an interesting process. I'm going through literally EVERY thing I own, opening every box, every storage container, and appraising each item. It's hard to prioritize and to leave behind the sentimental, yet completely unnecessary things. But it's also kind of fun. In my scavenging, I found some old notes from friends in high school, my first watch, and my Pokemon cards (which I should see what their worth is now). I've decided that for this transition in my life, Nostalgia is my friend. The things from my past I'm finding remind me of how different I used to be and how things have already changed so much! This makes the move to NY seem like a natural part of my life- just another change. On the other hand, it's kind of sad to watch my room becoming kind of empty. Not so much for me, but for my parents. I can't say I'm not worried about them and how they'll feel when they walk into my lifeless room. Note to self: call them daily.

That is all for today. Tomorrow (well, really later today since it's 1AM) is my "going away party," so that promises to be interesting!

So this is independence...

5 days left

The goodbyes have begun... sort of.

I'm trying to do a blog a day and I know this is cheating because I didn't blog yesterday, but I'm gonna pull double duty today and do yesterday's and today's blogs. Last night was too busy for me to find the time to blog... not to mention I never made it home.

First of all, I want to bring up a strange phenomenon I experienced yesterday that I'm left to assume has something to do with me moving away. Yesterday, I told my dad that I needed a haircut and some stuff from target before I went to school. He kindly offered to take me. We got to the "Hair Cuttery" and I got my hair cut, told him I was done and just needed to check out and he said, "Okay. I'll meet you in the car." What? Since when do I pay for my own haircut when my dad is sitting right there? Haircuts aren't cheap. When he offered to take me, I assumed he'd also be paying. I mean, it's a haircut, not a Tivo. Anyway, the next stop was Target. I got all of my stuff (which was necessary for school) and he put it in the cart with his. When we got to the check out counter, he gave me a $20 and once again left for the car. His items came out to $21.30. Mine were an additional $43.26. Once again, I was left to pay for my own items and the last bit of his. This change is very sudden and unexpected... and it sucks. But, I guess it's a part of "growing up." 

After the enlightening shopping experience, I went to my sister's house where I met her and an old friend of ours, Garrett. It was fun and surreal to hang out with them, knowing I'd be leaving them on Wednesday. That's how it is when I hang out with everyone now. It's super weird. I felt the same way when I left my sister's to go hang out with some of my best friends. It was to be the last time we'd see each other before my move to NY and I found our parting to be rather... anticlimactic. Perhaps it was because it didn't take place until 7:15 in the morning when we were all exhausted. Still, I expected tears and lots of hugging and promises of contact. I guess it was easier the way it happened. It was just like leaving every other time. It wasn't like I was moving at all. 

That got me thinking. Maybe it's not like we're really separating. Really, with facebook and videochat and everything, how much would our relationship change? Maybe we could still stay good friends. I concluded that I had previously overreacted when I assumed my friends would become "facebook acquaintances." It's not like I'll never see them again. I'll see them online all the time and I'll get to see them in person whenever I come to visit in the winter and the summer. So, I'm staying positive about my relationships while still opening myself up for tons of new ones at college. There's no point in counting my current friends out yet, right?

Also, my dad just walked in to remind me of all the chores I should do today. I thought at this point, my parents would just be wanting me to hang out with them and tell them how much I'm going to miss them and just relax. Nope.

Like I said, I'm pulling double duty today, so I'll see you again soon!

Decomposition

6 Days Left.

I'm an independent person. I thought that, while I loved my family, I was completely independent of them. Now that I'm six days from leaving home, I'm definitely realizing more and more how wrong I was. I got an e-mail from my mom today (yes, we live in the same house. My family just e-mails each other sometimes... not sure why). It was sent to all of my family, inviting them over to the house for pizza on Monday night to "hang out with Jake before he goes to Long Island." The phrase "going away party" was never used. I think because when my mother previously made an attempt to use the phrase, she burst into tears... awkwardly. Anyway, getting that e-mail was another one of my "moments." You know, like a "Holy shit. I'm seriously moving to New York away from all of my family and friends" moment. I wouldn't say I'm emotional or nervous, but I'm definitely slightly unnerved. Can you blame me? It is pretty crazy. And it's probably not super healthy, but I'm not showing any signs of discomfort to my family. My parents are nervous and emotional enough! I feel like if I show them I'm 110% okay and confident, it'll be easier on them. I definitely don't want to contribute to their mess of emotions. But this whole not talking to anyone about the "negative" feelings I'm having about the move is making me kind of crazy. I guess the blog helps though. I haven't told many people about it really because I don't want to weird them out (if shit gets "real" haha), but knowing that maybe someone is reading it makes me feel a little better. 

But seriously, I'm having issues. I've got some intense anxiety and haven't been able to fall asleep before 3:30AM this entire week. I have a feeling tonight will be one of those nights. Tomorrow, I begin my last weekend in FL. Hopefully these blog posts will get cheerier and more exciting after the move! They'll be more interesting, for sure! Right now, however, I have to go clean an effin' refrigerator... a filthy one so I can ship it to NY in the morning. Looking forward to tomorrow's blog!

P.S. I've faithfully blogged the last three days in a row! Go me! Perhaps this will be the first blog I don't give up on. :)

Juggling

7 days left.

Going to college out of state is a much larger production than I had anticipated. I have two younger brothers, so my parents don't really have time to drive me all the way from FL to NY and back, so we're flying. This means I have to fit my life into the luggage I'm aloud to bring on the plane. Yikes. Well... not ALL of it. Obviously, there are some things my roommates will be providing and (thank god) Bed, Bath, and Beyond does this thing where you can go into the store and scan everything you need with this gun (which is really fun) and they'll have it ready for you at the store nearest your campus on move-in day*. Still, it's a lot of stuff to fit into airline-approved luggage. 

My roommates are all from the northeast (one even lives like 10 minutes from campus!), so for them this is all a lot easier, as they can simply drive to campus. So, when we're talking and figuring out who's bringing the fridge, the tv, the futon, etc., I feel like a lame roommate for not being so ready and willing to bring such a large item. Because of this feeling of "lameness," I procured a mini-fridge which I now have to clean and ship to NY... *sigh. At least all of us our contributing. I think it'd be worse to have roommates that weren't cooperative at all, not that all of my roommates are perfect, but more about that in a later post (LOTS more).

To top it all off, there are new things I'm now discovering that I need that I didn't know about before, and they're not super easy to find. For example, an ethernet hub/splitter. Basically, colleges usually don't allow routers, so if you need to hook up ethernet to more than one device, you need a splitter or a hub. I can't find them in physical stores, only online. Frustrating. You might be wonder what device (besides my computer) requires ethernet... it's a Tivo. Yes, I'm very excited. It's definitely a luxury, but I'm a big TV watcher and I want to reward myself for all of the hours I spent working at a pet store during my Junior year of high school. It's especially handy because it's not as easy to catch up on all your shows if you miss an episode at college. Most networks have software that prohibits you from simply downloading an episode unless it's through a paid service. Plus, with a busy college schedule, and Manhattan at my fingertips, there's no way I'll be home for all my shows.

I guess advice I could give to others who are moving out to go to college is to plan way ahead. I felt like summer was going to last forever and that I had everything figured out, but I didn't. First of all, talk to your roommates well in advance to figure out who's bringing what. Maybe you can ask one of them (if they're local) if they'll buy whatever you're supposed to bring and you can reimburse them. Also, it's impossible, but try to imagine every possible scenario, everything you'll want to do in your dorm so that you can make sure you're prepared. There's so much stuff going on now that it's my final week. I wish I could just relax and focus on packing and saying goodbye! Not to mention the fact that my parents spontaneously (and frequently, now) burst into tears around me... it's awkward. Really awkward. 

*Bed, Bath, and Beyond doesn't advertise this program online at all for some reason, but it exists. Just go in a store and ask them about it. It's awesome.

Like a Brick

8 Days Left

Today, my older sister, Jennie, sent me a text. 

Jake, when can we hang out this weekend to say our goodbyes?

That's when it hit me. Like a brick. I'm not going to be seeing her much at all anymore. I won't be seeing any of my family much anymore. My friends would become "facebook acquaintances" and my acquaintances would cease to exist. In one short week, I'll be in New York city (Kind of. I'm moving to Long Island, but it's more fun to say New York), far away from Florida, from my family and friends, and everything I know. But you get it. You've seen this movie before. But so have I! And I never anticipated I'd feel the way I do now. Holy shit.

I decided to move to New York for college in the 6th grade. I'm serious. I swear, one day I just kind of knew it was where I wanted to live and I've never doubted it for a second since. I visited New York for the first time in the 9th grade. It was everything I had hoped and expected it to be. My visits to the city gave me the inspiration to kick enough ass in high school to earn myself a scholarship to Hofstra University. I know, you probably aren't very familiar. You were probably thinking I went for NYU. I did. It costs $50,000 a year to go there... not the best scholarships. I had resigned myself to staying in state when I got the lifesaver call from Hofstra just two weeks before my college commitment deadline. One visit was enough to convince me it was the perfect fit (if you factor in finances, of course). 

THE POINT: I've known I was moving out of FL for 6 years. I thought I was completely prepared. The truth is, I'm still scared. Excited, but scared. 

THE BLOG: I started this blog because what I realized, when I got that text from my sister, was that this is the most exciting, scary, crucial point of my life. Everything is about to change. I started this blog to chronicle those changes, my adventures, and my difficulties, share them, and try to manage them all myself. This blog will cover my first year as an independent adult, as a college student, and as a New Yorker. Wish me luck. I have no idea how my first year (and therefore this blog) will turn out.

P.S. I should warn you, I'm not very good at keeping up with blogs. :)